1) Don’t attempt to improve the lamenting individual feel. YOU CANNOT. For some mourners it just serves to exacerbate them feel remorseful or. Mourners MUST experience the agony of anguish for recuperating to at last happen.
2) Don’t advise the mourner to give it time. Time has halted for the mourner. Life continues in moderate movement. Life is too dreamlike to ever be related to time.
3) Don’t attempt to redirect the mourner’s consideration far from their torment by looking at something different. In the event that you do, when you leave their essence, the truth will by and large hit all the harder. Additionally, it might appear to the lamenting that you are awkward with them conversing with you about their anguish. On the off chance that they sense this, they will estrange themselves from you.
4) Don’t be reluctant to discuss the individual who has kicked the bucket by name. On the off chance that it makes you awkward, it might need to survey your readiness for making a difference. To recuperate from sorrow, the mourner must have a practical photo of the dead.
5) Don’t be unnerved by tears…the mourner’s or your own. Tears are openings of discharge and enable the mourner to express their distress in solid courses with your quality as a pad of warmth and sympathy.
6) Don’t be worried about saying the correct things. Give the lamenting individual a chance to talk. Simply tune in and support their talking. Your quality is more significant than anything you can state.
7) Don’t contend with lamenting people. Rather, console. You may hear articulations, for example, “I wish I had done this or had been more accommodating” et cetera. Promise them that they did what they could have done at the time not knowing _______ (name of expired) would kick the bucket when he/she did.
8) Don’t utilize doublespeaks and fancy dialect. By and large, it just influences the circumstance to appear to be more manufactured and unbelievable. For instance, don’t state “passed away” or “lapsed” when you signify “kicked the bucket.” The mourner need to hear “dead.”
9) Don’t fear quiet. Hush on the partners part demonstrate that you don’t have every one of the appropriate responses and don’t want to imagine that you do. Besides, it gives mourners time to process thought and express sentiments.
10) Don’t put forth broad expressions of assistance, for example, “In the event that you require me, call me.” Chances that they will call are nearly nil. Rather, be particular. For instance, educate them regarding a gathering bolster amass being directed in their general vicinity; or disclose to them you will stop by one week from now to check whether there is some housework you can assist them with; or inquire as to whether you can bring supper by tomorrow.
11) Don’t seclude mourners. Try not to cut your discussion or visit short since you are awkward or in light of the fact that you are excessively occupied. (Never check the time or the check in their quality). Be prepared with delicate words and a listening ear. Your genuineness and concern is the best evidence to the mourner that he/despite everything she has assets to draw from.
12) Don’t wind up fretful. Numerous mourners meander endlessly and rehash themselves in their stun and disarray. Supporting with persistence, sympathy and empathy uncovers your care.
13) Don’t be judgmental or dismissing. Mourners are harming severely. They needn’t bother with your judgments and deserting at this troublesome time in their lives.
14) Don’t tell lamenting individuals you know how they feel. YOU DON’T. Despite the fact that numerous partners have likewise experienced misfortune because of death, each experience is unique and felt in an unexpected way. Your agony is never another person’s torment.
15) Don’t give your own needs a chance to decide the experience for the mourner.
16) Don’t push the deprived into new connections previously they are prepared. They will tell you when they are available to new encounters.
17) Don’t force your esteem framework on the dispossessed. Your convictions or methods for doing things may not be theirs.
18) Don’t expand on your own encounters of misfortune to the deprived.
19) Don’t give the mourner a chance to overlook their youngsters’ sorrow and extraordinary needs amid this time.
20) Don’t be hesitant to touch, hold, embrace (and so forth.) the mourner. The emotions produced is worth in excess of a thousand words.